Why don't they understand?

April
5

meg me baby

hurray! since getting my o2 broadband, my download speed has to be displayed as Mb/s instead of Kb/s.

I was getting 1.6Mb/s on a download the other day and everyone who I told about it, either didn’t care or didn’t know just how awesome being able to download at over a meg per second is.

the infidels!

It got me thinking about those other times where I was raving about something cool and the people I’m talking to get that glassed over look in their eyes that means they’re humouring me because I might be able to fix their computer later…:-)

I had 6 computers to fix yesterday, here are some of the things I heard..

  1. “it wasn’t like that before”
    if you say so… (thinking…hah! don’t make me laugh, you don’t even know what it is like now, you probably don’t even know what it is in the first place)
  2. “OMG it’s showing all my personal data”
    well, yes, you just signed in with a username and password. You’re probably registered on their site
  3. “but I’ve got a virus scanner”
    a virus scanner wont protect you if you open that msn file send request from someone you don’t know
  4. “it came free with my broadband”
    yes but you still need to scan regularly with up to date definitions
  5. “up to date whatinifitions?”
    [sigh]
  6. “that other computer has a virus scanner, can I just take it from there and put it on this one?”
    [loooong sigh]
  7. “but it’s connected at 100Mb/s, how come it’s so slow?”
    that’s the speed of your network card connection, not your internet speed
  8. “oh, but my internet speed is 8meg”
    It’s up to eight meg sure, you’ll probably get around 3/4 of a meg in actual download speed
  9. “can I access this router from my home?”
    where do you live?
    “it’s just down the road…”
    [@!??]

sometimes I feel like the man with one eye in the kingdom of the blind

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14 Comments zu “Why don't they understand?”

  1. roger
    05.04.08 1:32 pm

    ’sometimes I feel like the man with one eye in the kingdom of the blind’

    Andy is the KING!

    great quote a friend of mine use to use this alot, one of my favorites is from The Rock;

    ‘your best?, losers alway’s whine about their best winner’s go home and …. the prom queen’ ;)

    If you say it with a Sean Connery accent it’s much more effective ;)

    #1

  2. witchypoo
    05.04.08 1:59 pm

    Twitter: psychicgeek
    Did they pay you with a great meal? I work for food heh, heh.

    witchypoo’s last blog post..Hamburger College

    #2

  3. Andy Bailey
    05.04.08 3:56 pm

    roger: hehe, my favorite is from Yoda.. “try? TRY??? there is no try, only do or not do”

    witchypoo: hard cash was my ‘dinner’ money :-)

    #3

  4. Sharon
    05.04.08 8:35 pm

    LOL Andy!

    You forgot to mention that people’s eyes glass over also whenever you mention how fantastic blogging is!
    :)

    those *infidels*

    Sharon’s last blog post..Model Fitness: Exercise band workout with Kim Strother

    #4

  5. Andy Bailey
    05.04.08 9:26 pm

    haha! that’s a whole other post… (snippet)
    Me: “I got over 100,000 visitors this month!!”
    them: “how much did you earn from that??”
    Me: “oh um, nothing but I got 100,000 visitors!!”
    them: “whoop-di-doo”

    lol

    #5

  6. jonathan
    06.04.08 2:53 pm

    nice blog =)
    subscribed!

    jonathan’s last blog post..MySpace, Major Labels Join Forces for Online Music Store

    #6

  7. Rich
    06.04.08 10:36 pm

    Here’s some of my favorites;

    CALLER: I’ve been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can’t get help.

    OPERATOR: Where did you get that number from, sir?

    CALLER: It was on the door.

    OPERATOR: Sir, those are our opening hours.

    ————

    TECHNICAL SUPPORT: I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.

    CUSTOMER: OK

    TECHNICAL SUPPORT: Did you get a popup menu?

    CUSTOMER: No.

    TECHNICAL SUPPORT: OK. Right-click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?

    CUSTOMER: No.

    TECHNICAL SUPPORT: Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?

    CUSTOMER: Sure. You told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.

    —————————

    OPERATOR: Computer assistance; may I help you?

    CALLER: Yes, well, I’m having trouble with my word-processing package.

    OPERATOR: What sort of trouble?

    CALLER: Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.

    OPERATOR: Went away?

    CALLER: They disappeared.

    OPERATOR: Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?

    CALLER: Nothing.

    OPERATOR: Nothing?

    CALLER: It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.

    OPERATOR: Are you still in the system, or did you get out?

    CALLER: How do I tell?

    OPERATOR: Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?

    CALLER: What’s a ’sea-prompt’?

    OPERATOR: Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?

    CALLER: There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.

    OPERATOR: Does your monitor have a power indicator?

    CALLER: What’s a monitor?

    OPERATOR: It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?

    CALLER: I don’t know.

    OPERATOR: Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?

    CALLER: Yes, I think so.

    OPERATOR: Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.

    CALLER: Yes, it is.

    OPERATOR: When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?

    CALLER: No.

    OPERATOR: Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.

    CALLER: OK, here it is.

    OPERATOR: Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.

    CALLER: I can’t reach.

    OPERATOR: OK. Well, can you see if it is?

    CALLER: No.

    OPERATOR: Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?

    CALLER: Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle – it’s because it’s dark.

    OPERATOR: Dark?

    CALLER: Yes – the light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.

    OPERATOR: Well, turn on the light then.

    CALLER: I can’t.

    OPERATOR: No? Why not?

    CALLER: Because there’s a power failure.

    OPERATOR: A power … a power failure? Aha, OK, we’ve got it sorted now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?

    CALLER: Well, yes, I keep them in the cupboard.

    OPERATOR: Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the shop you bought it from.

    CALLER: Really? Is it that bad?

    OPERATOR: Yes, I’m afraid it is.

    CALLER: Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?

    OPERATOR: Tell them you’re too bloody stupid to own a computer.

    Rich’s last blog post..Boost your profile with web2 social networking.

    #7

  8. Andy Bailey
    07.04.08 10:44 am

    jonathan: thanks for visiting!

    Rich: lol, I’ve seen those before but still funny

    #8

  9. Bobby’s Batch #12 - My Date With a Deceptive Lying Witch | Revellian Dot Com
    10.04.08 8:35 am

    [...] Why don’t they understand?: Also from Andy. This features some hilarious problems he ran into repairing computers. While you’re there, enter his new contest. [...]

    #9

  10. Nicole Price
    10.04.08 9:14 am

    I understand I understand and am so envious! Enjoy your b&^%*y broadband :)

    Nicole Price’s last blog post..Currencies of the World

    #10

  11. Nicole Price
    10.04.08 9:15 am

    Almost forgot: @Rich, thanks for that one i think i read it before but really enjoyed reading it again.

    Nicole Price’s last blog post..Currencies of the World

    #11

  12. Wissam Idrissi
    11.04.08 2:28 pm

    Hahaha this is so funny.

    Wissam Idrissi’s last blog post..Reward points on credit cards a perfect enjoyment Posted By : Daniel spivey

    #12

  13. Baby Safety Monitors
    08.04.09 2:07 pm

    I find that whenever you mention you do online blogging people quickly change the subject, whether they just don’t understand or maybe they don’t want to know about me!!! :-(

    #13

  14. Aliyya Baby Blog
    17.04.09 3:27 am

    wow.. 8 meg
    awesome number, especially for me that just have speed below 100 kBps :)

    Aliyya Baby Blog´s last blog post..Free Download Ebook Baby Girls – An Owner Manual

    #14