Ok, there are some things that tick me off on Twitter. Not enough that I lose my temper and throw stuff but, enough that I can move my fingers in a typey typey way to tell you about it.

This is how I shrink filter the growing list of people I follow..

1. if you send an autoDM with a link to your site

Take the above picture (please, take it and throw it away!). How is it these people have 4000+ followers with autoDM’s like this? do they work? oh god I hope not.

2. if you tell me anything about your god

This is a thing I like about twitter. There’s no religious tweets in my stream, for the life of me I can’t see how 140 characters could get someone to join your god. The religious can tweet to each other all day long but how many people of a different god will continue to listen?

3. if you spurt many many messages in one go so you dominate my column

I know you must be on an interesting site or going through some great links but, slow down! by the time I have checked out the first link. The public timeline has evolved more messages and I lose the rest!

4. if you use viral pyramid follow things

What’s the matter with you? will you hand over your twitter username and password to just any old whacko who promises you a squillion followers? take a second and think about it…

5. if you use number 4 as your first autoDM when I follow you

die die die.

6. if you use big bad swear words too frequently

I get it, I’m an adult and I swear so I understand when things need an expletive or two but not when it’s every second f***ing word!

7. if you have 1 update and it’s a link to your site

Hey! I has got url, an I has got twitter. I can add thems up and gets traffic!
fewls

8. if you spell reely baldly

it’s you’re funny not, your funny.
my funny what?

Well, that’s not bad! only 8 things. I could go on all day listing things about instant messengers!

What gets your goat on twitter?