I wanted to join Starfleet
I have just finished watching a double Star Trek the next generation on BBC2 (no ad breaks!) and the flood of nostalgia and flashbacks made me wonder at the source of the mushrooms in my soup tonight. 
I remember when it first aired on Sky TV. OMG! I use to daydream of joining starfleet, oh how sweet that would be to travel the stars and see quasars and fix things by reversing the polarity!
In those days, I spent literally minutes and minutes every night after the episode aired daydreaming. I would meet Data and he’d think I was cool. oh, I would meet Wesley Crusher and we’d become the greatest of friends until I stole his hotty half Betazoid bit of stuff!
Will Riker wouldn’t like me though, he’d be all cock-jealous and feel gutted that his Betazoid bird was getting on and I got with the tall dark eyed half Beta’ hotty. I saw your face when she broke up with Wes, you wanted to march on in there and give her the old half smile hairy face shit.
HAHA, while you were all handcuffed with your poncy Imzadi stuff and pretending you like eating Gagh I moved on in with the 20th century boy routine… ha, sheh iz mahn. Yoink!
But eating Klingon food? What the hell is that for? you know Klingon females are proper mingers.. who do you think you’ll impress eating unprocessed serpent worms? and what the hell does Imzadi mean anyway? I’ll tell you what it means, it means “not happening tonight” hahaha
And Geordie? I caught him using his visor to access subspace porn channels and forced him to replicate me one too. We had to do 4 Sherlock Holmes holodeck programs with Data before he’d program a scene with Tasha Yar in it.
It was OK though, we sent it to Deepspace Nine courtesy of one of Quarks extended network delivery ships. He managed to slip Jadzia Dax into the program. Bashir is always sending me subspace messages asking to get a copy of the crystal, the frickin sap.
Because it’s my make believe world, we’d find a way to transport one person from the lost Voyager craft. Oh Seven, how I would futilate my resistance just to make a tertiary junction with your phased input device.
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