Please help, I don’t know what to do…
The other day, while I was trying (unsuccessfully) to increase the resolution of my monitor, my wife came in and told me she was going to bingo. All was fine with that as she goes every week and has done for the 3 years of our marriage but lately she has been getting over-excited when she is due to go, she even puts on ‘party’ clothes now! I asked her about them but she just said that the girls go to the pub after the last game has finished.
She has been acting very strange and always deletes her text messages right after she receives them instead of leaving her cell phone to get to the “too many messages” error. Also, I’m not complaining but, she is always wearing the expensive perfume that I gave her last Christmas. She didn’t even wear it when I last took her on a night out six months ago!
I’m starting to get really suspicious now, the phone rings and whenever I answer it there is no one there or the person says it’s a wrong number or asks for someone who doesn’t live here. I asked her why my she never gets any wrong numbers but she couldn’t explain it. I found a receipt in her jacket pocket for a local restaurant but, when I checked our joint account there wasn’t an entry for that restaurant. When I asked my wife about it, she said it must have been for her work expenses account (she doesn’t work anywhere near this restaurant!!!)
Last night was the final straw, I came home early from work to give her a surprise (she always complains that I work too much) and she was in her nightdress talking animatedly on the phone with someone. As soon as I came in through the door, she finished the call without even saying goodbye. All she could say about being in a night dress was that she was coming down with a cold and was going to take a bath before going to bed early.
While she was in the bath, I checked the last received call to her cell phone and used my own phone to dial it. A man answered! I asked him who he was and he just said he worked for some computer company and he didn’t know who the last person to use the phone was. I got the company name out of him and used the internet to find out it’s address so I could go down there and get some answers. I went upstairs to talk about this to my wife and she was on another cell phone, she should only have one cell phone! where did she get a new one?? I had had enough so I told her to get out of the bath and come with me to the company I had just talked to.
She didn’t want to come and we had a big fight so I decided to go there myself! I nearly crashed twice on the way with so much horribleness going through my mind but I finally made it, I pulled up right in front of the company window. Just under the special offer sign for a 29 inch widescreen monitor going for 200 quid.
The question I want to ask is, do you think I should get this monitor now or wait until a bigger version comes along?
kind regards
Mr. G. Eek.
hehehe, this is an entry to AntiBarbie’s contest to win a custom blog header graphic.
Here are the rules if you want to enter yourself (and you should!), write a letter to Shabby asking for advice. The one deemed the best by Dawn by December 17th will win the prize.
All entries must follow these simple rules or be disqualified:
1.) One entry per person please.
2.) The entry *must* be up on your own blog with a link back to this post (and a mention of the prize would be great too!)
3.) The entries can be as long or as short as you want but all entries are due by December 17th!
After the contest closes I will take a very short interlude to read all the entries/letters and pick the winner. The winning entry will be posted on this blog, along with Dear Shabby’s response. Good luck and have fun with it!
06.11.07 6:16 pm
Bravo! I’m impressed. I have some constructive commentary for this letter. I hope you don’t mind. I’ve belonged to several critique groups so it’s in my blood… I can’t help myself!
The comedic timing was awesome, the only suggestions I would give you is to remove the part about the wife in your title and elude to it so that it’s assumed that the problem this guy has is with his wife without coming out and saying it but at the same time fits perfectly with his ‘real’ problem that we find out about at the very end.
For example, ‘Confusing Dilemma’ or ‘Stuck in limbo, please help!’
Also mention a problem with the monitor early on, such as: I was busy fiddling with my temperamental montior when…..
That way while it seems that the monitor was just a backdrop of the story, it would turn out that the whole affair part of it leading up to the ending would be instead.
Great job Andy, I really liked it and I think that Dear Shabby will too!
AntiBarbie’s last blog post..Contest – Win a custom blog header!
#106.11.07 8:15 pm
thanks AntiB! I was inspired by your short stories so I wrote this entry out.
#2I really appreciate your input, I am going to go back and edit a bit, I hope that’s not ‘cheating’ though!!
07.11.07 5:05 am
Wow that was marvelous…. thanks for getting inspired by short stories and not novels else I would have died out of suspense..
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#307.11.07 9:50 am
Oh boy! You nearly got me there. I read the story on my email subscription, so the “quote” form didn’t show to hint that this is not you writing.
I had pity on you because it’s the first time you announce your 3 years marriage on this blog (I guess), and it’s to talk about a problem. But then it started smelling fishy.
Well done for the story, Mr gEek.
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#407.11.07 12:00 pm
@jalaj: haha! I wish I could write as descriptively as antiB, this is the best I could do!
@mira: its why I chose the title that I did, so I could get people here to see why I am suspicious! I have changed the title a little on the suggestion of Dawn. I think it works well..
#507.11.07 3:49 pm
LoL the story is very serious, I mean we all know wife is cheating but you know…woman is woman hahah
In marriage there is no ” Whats Mine it’s Yours’ there is always “Whats mine is mine, whats yours it’s mine too” So is that 2nd cellphone she had.
Great post!
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#608.11.07 4:34 am
That was..
Well, you almost pulled my leg!
I have head of jokes similar to this, but because they involved some Malaysian politicians, I shall keep them to myself, LOL.
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#708.11.07 10:51 am
@bonbt: thanks for visiting!
#8@pelf: haha, nearly got you!
05.12.07 2:20 pm
Twitter: psychicgeek
I think that he should have cautioned her in the bath not to get her bingo card wet.
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#918.12.07 3:13 pm
[...] Andy, Teeni and Bun-Girl Thanks for all your [...]
#1018.12.07 4:40 pm
This was great – a very unexpected ending! Loved your entry!
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#1118.12.07 5:06 pm
teeni: haha! yours was pretty good too!
#1210.01.08 11:46 pm
Funny…
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#1306.02.08 9:58 am
That was funny, and I also liked the critiques your readers offered. Good luck with the contest.
From Glenn, the rookie’est rookie that ever claimed to be a rookie !!!
#1419.03.08 12:20 pm
hehehe.. .wish u a good luck on the contest
#1501.05.08 5:58 am
hehe – I don’t think I could beat that!
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